Security Blanket

What a week! I feel like I say that every week lately. As I have already mentioned, this is a very trying school year.

Today was especially rough at school... all sorts of nonsense. Plus I was really tired to begin with-- was up late (after dozing off on the couch only to be awoken by a major Thunderstorm...) Then the internet was down, so I couldn't chat with the hubby-- always a downer!

During these tough times I like to identify and focus on things that make me feel better. Growing up I, like my buddy Linus here, had a security blanket. (well, I STILL have it but do not carry it around-- though maybe it would make me feel better at school!)

So I have decided to make a list of some of my grown-up "Security Blankets":

*Matt... I cannot wait for him to be here! I will be much calmer and much happier I am sure!

* My cats... yes, I am a crazy cat lady! But after a crappy day at school, it's nice to have some unconditional love from the furry children. They know when I am upset, and will just come sit with me.

* My family... They are awesome... from advice from Gma to help moving things & heavy lifting from the brothers, everyone has been most helpful.

* Audible.com... I don't have much time to read lately-- something I have always used as an escape... but audiobooks on the iPod seriously help. I love to get lost in a great story, especially if it takes my mind off other worries, commutes to school, or household tasks.

* My friends... Like the fam, my friends have been a huge help during this stressful time. Luckily I have some amazing friends at school that help out when I am about to fall apart. Outside of school I have also called more upon the friend brigade... from changing litter, to taking junk to Goodwill for me... from taking me out to eat to offering to paint the nursery... I've got AWESOME friends!

*My kitchen... baking always calms me down... and luckily, I have some GREAT taste-testers at school!

Sometimes life is hard... and often it is not fair. But when those hurdles continually pop up in my way, I turn to these things that give me comfort or make me feel better, even if just temporarily.

There are not words for how ready I am for some CHANGE! And isn't that what Spring is all about-- change... rebirth... new beginnings? BRING IT ON, I say!

First of all, I am so frustrated with the whole immigration process for the hubby. I won't bore you with the ugly details, but SERIOUSLY! Something's got to give! The process is long and tedious on it's own... throw in hormones, stress, and good ol' fashioned impatience-- and it's a NIGHTMARE! I need him here! I can't do all this on my own much longer! And it seems it has been one obstacle after another. I'm not an overly political person-- but YES, there needs to be some immigration reform-- and SOON!

Next, school is on my last nerve. I have some FANTASTIC students-- a few. But overall this year has been a headache. I have never been around this much apathy in my life. And yes I know, they're just children. But even children should have some dreams... a goal... a desire to succeed. (sigh)  Sometimes I feel like I am Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day.... It's the same crap everyday-- nothing changes, no one remembers details from one day to the next, and no one cares. I am just ready for this group to move on.

Is it too late for a new career? Guess this really isn't the time to look into that seriously...

And the weather! Honestly-- just pick one! Hot or cold... this back and forth is killing me. It's passed the point of hoping for snow days-- not that many of those worked out for us this year anyway! So let's just get warm and stay warm already! Besides, my feet are starting to swell-- it'd be awesome, and MUCH more comfy, to just wear flip flops!

My Random Thought for the Day...

What if celebrities had to get REAL jobs?

*Jessica Simpson as a school teacher
*Kirstie Alley as a UPS delivery person
*Kim Kardashian as a day care worker
*Tom Cruise as a car salesman
*Madonna as a server at Applebees
*Kanye as a Waffle House cook
*Lindsay Lohan as a secretary
*Spencer Pratt as a gas station attendant/ clerk
*Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, any of the Jonas Bros, etc working at McDonald's or Taco Bell
*Kristen Stewart delivering pizza
*Jennifer Love Hewitt as a cashier at Food Lion
*Heidi Montag stocking shelves at Walmart


And yes, I realize that most all celebrities (minus those BORN into it-- I'm talking to YOU Hilton & Kardashian girls!) have had REAL jobs at some time in their life. And many have worked their way up to where they are now-- and kudos to them. But sometimes I get so sick and tired of hearing them bitch about their HARD lives and all they go through. Try teaching 5th grade, 6 months preganant while dealing with your husband going through immigration-- meanwhile living 4000 miles away... paying all your OWN bills with the piddly salary you make... keeping your house clean/ clutter free, doing your own dishes, laundry, etc... I guarantee you some of them woudn't stand a chance!


Maybe I shouldn't read Perez anymore today...


What REAL jobs would you like to see celebrities attempt??

M-I-C... Cya Real Soon! K-E-Y... Why? Because Apparently I'm INSANE!

My horoscope today: Your energy gets brighter as today goes on, so it's a great day to start something.

HMMmmmm... What shall I start? Suggestions?

I got up early today to watch local meteorologist Mike Witcher talk about my students on the AM news. He came and spoke yesterday-- the kids loved it! He is very animated and fun. It was a great shout out for the school and 5th grade-- esp for our own "meteorologist" Logan.

Afterschool I dashed to Target for some last minute 1/2 marathon trip items, plus some Easter stuff for Henry & Mae... for once I will be early with my gifts-- my plan is just to give it all to Jess in FL. :)

Now I am just waiting on Josh to wake up so we can hopefully get some food before he takes me to the airport... Tomorrow should be fun... Race Expo followed by exploring Disney village or whatever it is... My students can't believe we don't plan to go to the park. Seems silly for 2 people in their 30's and their 50 yr old aunt to ride rides @ Disney World... but who knows! Perhaps we will.

I am really nervous about Sunday. I think I will be fine. My goal is only to finish in (preferably) one piece. More on this tomorrow...

OK, off to pack up the laptop and a few last items... More from FLA!

Mixed Signals

So I am still torn about the movie He's Just Not that Into You. I really liked the book and what it had to say. But it presented a certain set of rules-- and the movie seem to break them. In case you haven't read the book or seen the movie, I won't give anything away.

The book makes you aware that things won't ALWAYS work out... not every story has a happy ending. And while not ALL the characters had happy endings-- there were MANY exceptions to Greg's proposed ways. I'm really curious what his thoughts on the script were. I'm sure he had some say-so in it...

The movie was sweet, if somewhat predictable. I liked it. It just didn't jive completely with the book, which was frustrating. (Trust me, Leigh was WAY more pissed than I was!)

So if you compare the book and movie, I'm sad to say it will leave you like most relationships-- confused by mixed signals.

I agree with this...

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. … The real difference is that [Harry Potter author] Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and [Twilight author] Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."
- Stephen King tells USA Today

http://perezhilton.com/2009-02-04-quote-of-the-day-436

myTunes

I go through all kinds of crazy phases and mood swings when it comes to the music I am listening to... I guess this is true of everyone, though I am pretty sure my friend Missy could (& might) listen to Bon Jovi 24/7.

Don't get me wrong-- I LOVE the boys from Jersey, and listen to them my fair share... but lately I've been a lot more mellow. Now sure why, but it has certainly been a nice change.

For the last several days I have pretty much only listened to NPR and WUOT. I love driving to school or wherever else early in the AM listening to the calm DJs and news anchors discussing world problems. In the afternoons I am relaxed by the classical selections. At night the smooth jazz helps me unwind.

Man, I feel like such a grown-up!

A Truck By Any Other Name...

The thought occurred to me today:

I will NEVER name my child after any vehicle-- for example--Dakota, Mercedes, Porche, etc...

Now, I am not knocking parents that do this... it is just something I find somewhat silly. As a teacher, I come across lots of unusual names... Tonight at the spelling bee I met brothers Suhn and Psalm... definitely different.

Then there are the people that have common names, spelled unusually... Elysabeth, for example. As someone who's name is not common-- it's tough growing up not being able to find pencils and keychains with your name on them...

I'm just sayin'....

I Agree... Without Protest

Acquiesce
Oasis

I don't know what it is
That makes me feel alive
I don't know how to wake
The things that sleep inside
I only wanna see the light
That shines behind your eyes

I hope that I can say
The things I wish I'd said
To sing my soul to sleep
And take me back to bed
You want to be alone
When we could be alive instead

Because we need each other
We believe in one another
And I know we're going to uncover
What's sleepin' in our soul
Because we need each other
We believe in one another
(And) I know we're going to uncover
What's sleepin' in our soul
What's sleepin' in our soul

There are many things
That I would like to know
And there are many places
That I wish to go
But everything's depending
On the way the wind may blow
I don't know what it is
That makes me feel alive
I don't know how to wake
The things that sleep inside
I only wanna see the light
That shines behind your eyes

Because we need each other
We believe in one another
And I know we're going to uncover
What's sleepin' in our soul
Because we need each other
We believe in one another
(And) I know we're going to uncover
What's sleepin' in our soul
What's sleepin' in our soul

What's sleepin' in our soul
What's sleepin' in our soul'
Cause we believe'
Cause we believe
Yeah, we believe'
Cause we believe'
Cause we believe'
Cause we believe
Because we need
Because we need

[ Acquiesce Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

A Year in Review: 2008

January
1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year?: This is the year to make things happen-- NO REGRETS.. BE FEARLESS!
2. Who kissed you at midnight?: not happened yet, but I s'pose my family as that is who I am with
3. Have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop?: Nope... not sure I would want to actually...

February
1. Who was your valentine in 2008?: HA! We had an anti-VD dinner-- me, Miche, Josh, et al. Some chick fell in my yard and did serious ankle damage...
2. What did your valentine get you?: honestly, I don't remember much. I know one of my students got me a teddy bear that whistled...it was funny
3. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class?: of course, I still do


March
1. Are you Irish?: Nope... Mc-Scottish
2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day?: Yes... 5th graders LOVE to pinch you if you don't
3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2008: Wow... I seriously don't remember...



April
1. Do you like the rain?: LOVE IT! Esp thunderstorms
2. Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year? I don't think I did...
3. Do you get tons of candy on easter?: I do... esp Cadbury Eggs... MMmmm!



May
1. What's your favorite kind of flower?: Pansies are my fave!
2. Do you like the spring?: Yes. Means school is ALMOST OUT!
3. What would you think of as a spring color?: Anything pastel-- pink, lavender, yellow... "It's like Easter just threw up on the floor!"



June
1. What year did you graduate from school?: 1995, 2000, 2003
2. Did you go on any vacations last June?: First I went to England with Nan... then to NYC with the family....



July
1. What did you do on the 4th of July?: The fam as @ Aunt V's in VA... we shot fireworks and drank lots of margaritas
2. Went on any vacations during this month?: HMMMmmm... I guess just to VA... Oh and Lacy and I hiked Mt. LeConte also...



August
1. Did you do anything special to end off your summer?: Nope, just headed back to school... woo!
2. What was your favorite summer memory of '08?: My trip to England, fo sho!
3. Do you go swimming a lot in the summer?: not a lot...
4. Do you go to the beach a lot?: not a lot... I am planning a beach trip for Spring Break this year



September
1. Who is your favorite teacher?: Still Talbott... she's my hero! This is her last year... lucky duck gets to retire...
2. Do you like fall better than summer?: Yup... Fall is my FAVORITE!

October
1. What was your favorite halloween costume? This year I went as Las Vegas-- it was awesome!!
2. What's your favorite candy?: Reese's Cups
3. What did you dress up like this year?: Las Vegas... "Lady Luck" was the actual costume name

November
1. Whose house do you usually go to for thanksgiving?: This year I just went to Dad's... as Grandma was out of town again...
2. Do you like stuffing?: (a.k.a dressing) YES! I could eat my weight in it! And I did!
3. What are you thankful for?: great family and friends... a good class @ school... and all the opportunities that I have in life-- I know I am very blessed.

December
1. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?: I have...
2. What do you want this year for christmas?: honestly, not much of anything...
3. What's the best present you ever got for Christmas?: Wow, no clue... This year I got some cool stuff: a Cricuit (for scrapbooking), a wish necklace-- to be FEARLESS (conplete with dragon charm), a hip scarf-- to bellydance myself around the house, and lots of notepads and journals to get myself organized
4. Do you like cold weather?: Yes... but I feel if it is COLD, there should also be snow... And I get tired of bitter cold...

1) How would you rate your 08(1-10)?: Hmmm... 7 or 7.5-- definitely better than last year... And I have a good feeling about '09!

2) Where were you when 2008 began? Fredericksburg, VA @ Aunt V's

3) Who were you with? The fam-- Crazy aunts, Jessica, Thom, Mae, Henry, Richard, William, Alexander & Gma

4) Where will you be when 2008 ends? I'm in Ojai, CA with the same fam
5) Who will you be with when 2008 ends? the fam

6) Do you have a new years resolution for 2009? This is the year to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN... and be more FEARLESS

7) Did you fall in love in 2008? Don't know about love... but perhaps more "mcSmitten"

8) You regret it? No regrets! That's the deal

9) Did you breakup with anyone in 2008? uh, no.... that would require dating someone

10) Did you make any new friends in 2008? I'm sure I did... some friends I got to know better... WAIT! I thought of a new friend! Josh 2.0!

11) Who is your favorite new friend? Josh 2.0 (and all his ghosts) win! I also got to know Lacy better-- and that ROCKS!

12) What was your favorite month of 2008? October= VEGAS, BABY! I look fwd to that trip all year. I also loved May/June when Nan and I were in England

13) How many different places did you travel to in 2008?: Oh wow-- see this was my resolution-- Cancun, VA, England, New York, Vegas, California, Indiana, Nashville, Cookeville (hey, might not be glamorous, but it counts!)

14) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2008? not close to me, but several friends did and I did my best to be there for them

15) Did you miss anyone in the past year? Mc-yes.

16) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2008? Oh wow... hmmm, "Quantum of Solace" or "The Dark Knight" I s'pose.. and "Role Models" cracked me up. There are a lot of '08 movies I haven't seen yet.

17) Do you enjoy where you are now? I feel I have made some definite progress this year. And I feel some more progress coming this year...

18) What was your proudest moment of 2008? Hmmm.... becoming more myself... completing some 5Ks (preparing for 1/2 marathon)... meeting the Dragon- and surviving!

19) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2008? Possibly Justy's bachlorette party in Nashville... apparently I was out of control-- in a fun way... or when I fell @ Justy's wedding...ahahahaha

20) What are your plans for 2009?Be more FEARLESS... survive a 1/2 marathon... maybe even skydive... And I am now pondering a move to Nashville... we shall see!

Advent Blog: Day 9~ Time

Time.

It's supposed to heal all wounds. Is that true? How long is too long? Is it ok to hold grudges? Does it ever really accomplish anything in the long run? Afterall, TIME is a 4 letter word.

Seems there's never enough time... unless you REALLY want something, then there is too much. Especially in today's instantaneous world. We are used to getting what we want immediately. From high-speed internet to pay-per-view movies... Trust me, kids today have little idea what it is to wait for something. And when they do have to wait, they get MAD.

Now, don't get me wrong-- I LOVE my high-speed internet... dial up makes me crazy! And I have even been introduced to the wonders of On Demand and Pay-per-View lately.

But why is time something we can NEVER seem to get right?

In dealing with people, we wait... sometimes a LOT! How long is too long to wait for someone? to wait for a call? to wait on a dream? Is it ok to wait forever-- as long as you are not missing out on life?

With the Christmas holidays it always seems as if it is SO far away... and then suddenly-- YOU HAVE 10 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT! ACK! This is a nightmare-- maybe more so for me b/c I hate to shop.

Where does time go? Where did all those weeks until Christmas and New Year's disappear to?Why do I suddenly have very little time to finish decorating, clean the house, do my baking, finish gifts, and book an airline ticket to CA? And when am I supposed to do that while educating the youth of the world? Oy!

All day long I talk to 10 yr olds about time management-- which is a concept most adults (including myself) don't have down. "Use your time wisely!" I preach. Then I go home and sit on the couch when I could be doing any number of important things. But I am just so tired! And I want some TIME to myself! It's a battle!

Alas. 16 days till Christmas Day. There is nothing I can do about it... so I just have to accept it. And really, if you think about it, we have no idea when our time will be up. So my advice is to live each moment--- do what you want. Don't forget your responsibilities-- it can't ALL be fun and games. But take TIME... do for yourself, as well as others. And try not to think about that pesky hourglass the Wicked Witch of TIME is holding.

Perhaps Hootie & the Blowfish summed it up best:

Time

Time, why do you punish me?

Like a wave bashing into the shore

You wash away my dreams.
Time, why do you walk away?

Like a friend with somewhere to go

You left me crying

Can you teach me about tommorrow

And all the pain and sorrow Running free?

Cause tomorrow's just another day

And I don't believe in time

Time, I don't understand

Children killing in the street

Dying for the color of a rag

Time, hey there red and blue

Wash them in the ocean, make them clean,

Maybe their mothers won't cry tonight

Can you teach me about tomorrow

And all the pain and sorrow Running free?

But tomorrow's just another day

And I don't believe in...

chorus:
Time is wasting

Time is walking

You ain't no friend of mine

I don't know where i'm goin'

I think I'm out of my mind

Thinking about time
And if I die tomorrow, yeah

Just lay me down in sleep

(chorus)

Time, you left me standing there

Like a tree growing all alone

The wind just stripped me bare, stripped me bare

Time, the past has come and gone

The future's far away

Now only lasts for one second, one second

Can you teach me about tomorrow

And all the pain and sorrow Running free?

'Cause tomorrow's just another day

And I don't believe in time

(chorus)

Time, why you punish me?

--

As an aside-- I feel I am currently using my time well-- I have tutoring today and ONE kid came. So, we are in the computer lab researching-- and I am doing my blog now, so that I have time for hip hop and RELAXING tonight. :)

Advent Blog: Day 7~ Families

Family. The people you are supposed to spend time with, especially during the holidays. Unfortunately, holidays often bring out the worst in a lot of families. Perhaps it is the stress of all other holiday activities-- baking, cleaning, decorating, entertaining, wearing tacky Xmas attire given to you by family members whose feelings you do not want to hurt... Or maybe it is just the added pressure that holidays are SUPPOSED to be centered around family, and so you do so much trying to make it "perfect" that things get screwed up.

This is extra tricky for those of us who are from divorced families. Am I right? Can I get an AMEN?

Once, before my mom passed away, my grandma got kind of P-O'd @ me. She was mad because I was sticking with the same holiday schedule I had followed for years: Christmas Eve with dad & fam, Christmas day with Mom & fam. She jumped my ass-- "You need to spend time with your mom! It's Christmas!" I'm sure she was not thinking that there would be an equally emphatic message coming from the other side, in support of my dad. I must say, she (I'm sure unintentionally) made me feel AWFUL! Not Holly Jolly. Not full of the Christmas spirit-- unless the spirit makes you nauseous. It was my cousin (also a child of divorce) that came to my defense and actually stood up to Gma...

Tonight I saw the movie Four Christmases. It deals with this whole issue. Reese and Vince lied to their families @ Christmas for 3 years-- taking trips to exotic locations so to avoid the family stress. "You can't spell families without lies." Of course they get stuck in town and thus have to travel from family to family-- 4 in all, as they are also children of divorce. Needless to say, while suffering through the holidays, they come to understand and appreciate the idea of family.

Yes, it is a pain in the ass to hop from family to family at Christmas. Yes, it is stressful. Yes, it would be easier to sit at home and let those that want to, come to me. (Unfortunately I think that only works when you are married and have back-up when imposing your demands)...

But in the end, after all the gifts are unwrapped and all the pies have been eaten, it's worth it. To spend time with the people that love you unconditionally-- no matter what crazy stuff you have done in your life-- or how badly you have screwed up during the previous year-- it's nice to be accepted, because during the holiday there is lots of forgiveness and spiritual realization-- no matter how bad things are, we still have each other. And the stress melts away as you bask in the warm glow of love...

or perhaps that is the lies in families...

I kid, I kid... No matter the craziness or the stress... or the cross-country travelling... I hope everyone enjoys the upcoming holidays surrounded by family. Try to take a few minutes to just take it all in... they may not be quiet, fire-moments like in the movies... but absorb it, reflect on it... the laughter, the shouting, the madness that is families.

Advent Blog: Day 4~ Spunk

One of our vocabulary words @ school this week is spunk. I have noticed that the word keeps coming up in other places.

Case in point-- @ the basketball game tonight-- I have always described one of our stronger players as "spunky." She has serious hustle. I am not a basketball fan at all-- but I really get into the sport at the elementary school level. Crazy, I know.

Back in the day when I was a colorguard instructor @ Powell, we used to use the word "spunky" a lot. I can't really remember how it all started-- I used to act a-fool, especially on the bus, to amuse the guard members. I used to re-enact the "Da Bears" skit from SNL... And do a really bad Rocky & Bullwinkle impression-- which somehow evolved into me saying "I'm a spunky moose!" I have group pictures of the entire guard doing the spunky moose pose.

By definition, "spunk" means spirit.

I tend to like people that have spunk, or a spirit about them. They are fiesty, playful, and usually a lot of fun. So during this holiday season let's all try to be a little more spunky!

As an aside, I don't advise replacing the word "spirit" with the word "spunk." During this time of year-- you see the word "spirit" a lot.... However, holiday phrases such as "Catch the Spirit" and "Christmas Spirit" just don't seem as festive as "Catch the Spunk" or "Christmas Spunk"

And yes, I am aware that there is a slang definition for "spunk"

:)

Giving Thanks

Things I am thankful for (in no particular order):

~family
~friends
~travelling
~a good job
~technology
~red wine, champagne, & margaritas
~Las Vegas
~England
~Int'l texting :)
~my cats (even Carl who just turned over a glass of the above mentioned red wine)
~Girl Weekends in Nashville
~digital cameras
~a new President
~books on cd
~chocolate

I am especially thankful for another year to work on achieving my goals and dreams. Teaching school (esp in a rural area) makes me thankful for every opportunity I have, as well as all the opportunities I have had in my life. I am extremely lucky-- I have travelled, been surrounded by supportive family and friends, and been given much. Because of this I feel I have become a stronger person. I am no longer fearful about a lot of things. I am ready for change-- and motivated to make it happen.

I hope everyone has had a fantastic Thanksgiving. The Xmas season is upon us once again. I hope to get more "in the spirit" this year. Tomorrow the plan is to begin the decorating process. This means it will be acceptable to watch some of my fav holiday films... White Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas (animated), and, of course, The Holiday and Love Actually-- though I watch those year-round... I admit. :)

Here are some photos from today:



Mamaw with the grandkids and great-grandkids (minus Mary Beth)


John sneaks into the pictures


Round 1 with the grandkids (before Parri & the girls arrived)


John & Karenna-- quite the duo!