"No true fiasco ever began as a quest for mere adequacy. A motto of the
British Special Air Force is: 'Those who risk, win.' "

Saturday, May 1, 2010

I've Been Out of Control & Missing in Action...

Sorry to have been MIA all week on here... It's been a doozie!

I admit, I like to have control of most situations. Sure, there are times when I can go with the flow and just see what happens, but for the most part I don't like the out of control feeling. It's like riding the tea-cup ride at Disney World... I feel like at any moment I will be slung off into the universe.

Maybe that is why this whole immigration thing is so frustrating and uncomfortable. I have NO control over any aspect of it now. I have done my part, filled out stacks of paperwork, written several checks, copied and mailed all important documents and "evidence." Right now we are waiting on, perhaps RELYING on is a better phrase, Matt's Dr. to send a report to the embassy Dr. All the Embassy Dr. wants is 3 details-- it's really NOT hard. But for some reason, this is over the other Dr.'s head. Really?! You went to school for how long? People's lives rest in your hands daily, and yet you can't seem to get one simple letter written correctly? Furthermore, it's not like he writes it anyway, the secretary does. All he has to do is get her the info. Hell, I can write the stupid thing and get it to the Dr. in London (FROM THE US, no less) faster than this guy seems able to.

Needless to say, Matt will not give me the Dr.'s # so that I may call and, ahem, explain the urgency of the situation a little clearer. Apparently Matt is concerned that I will offend the man. PSHAW! I love that Americans have a reputation for abrasiveness... Whatever, we get things done! No stopping for a cup of tea for us!

School has been another out of control issue. This has been a challenging year. I am constantly shocked and saddened by some of the issues that  kids in elementary school face. I think back to those years-- fun, carefree... I certainly wasn't worried about taking care of younger siblings, or my parents! I was not neglected-- I had food, clean clothes, I was bathed... My parents cared about my education, made sure I did my work, instilled in me the VALUE of a good education. So what has happened?

If I spoke to adults, or acted the way some students today act... even now in my 30's-- my dad would STILL yank me up. And for some it is a game-- they know there are no consequences at home, and consequences they care anything about at school. Take my recess? Fine. Suspend me? Even better! I'll play video games all day! Kids like this go out of their way to drive teachers crazy for fun! And they win EVERYDAY!

Not only are my nerves frazzled, my blood pressure high, and my head throbbing... but now I feel like a failure because I can't get control over an 11 yr old! The thing is, NO ONE can... No teacher they have ever had... not their parents... no one! So what happens to these kids. If they act like this, and are this apathetic at 11... think what they will be like in high school... when they are 20... 30...

Here are some interesting recent articles from England:

Beaten boy was 'leading light of class trouble'

and the follow up:

Teacher Cleared Of Attempting To Murder Pupil

Now, I am not saying teachers should beat down unruly students. But teachers are human beings- and I am glad, for once, that a jury listened to the teacher. And what about the students' behavior? It will probably go unpunished (aside from a cracked skull)... but maybe other students will think twice before tormenting a teacher.

Thursday was one of the worst days. I had been out Wednesday... Two of my darlings had been in trouble with the sub-- so they were sent to other rooms for the day. That's how our "inschool suspension" works. Thursday, same two in trouble again. It's not always THESE two... but there is never a day that at least one of about 5 don't stir something up. I have not had one uninterupted day. And the school system wonders why test scores go down? It's not all books and learning-- there has to be some discipline-- and that discipline has to start, and carry on AT HOME. 

Teachers get blamed for everything-- if a child has low grades, it's our fault-- never mind the kid probably had no food at home for breakfast, is coming in dirty clothes, with dirty hair, face, and hands... Chances are the kid got themself (and sometimes siblings AND parents) up that morning... No one makes them follow directions at home, so why should they at school? Kids that see nothing but anger and fighting at home-- that is the norm-- so why not yell and fight everyone at school? "Multiplication? Who needs that? My daddy says that's a waste of time!"

OK, soapbox over... It's just that is what we are dealing with day after day... then we are told we can lose our jobs if scores don't go up. Parents come in and complain about ME if their child isn't doing their work. Well, newsflash: I have my OWN life. I cannot possibly go home with every student and sit with them until they do their work each night. I give my class LOTS of time IN CLASS... if they CHOOSE to use their time poorly-- well, that my friends is a life lesson. I'm a teacher, not Superwoman.

So on top of THAT stress on Thursday, my Dr.'s office calls to inform me that I have failed the 2nd glucose test. This was the 3 hr long one where blood was drawn 4 times. (I was technically poked 5 times if you could the last one when she couldn't get a vein in one arm). Great. Gestational Diabetes. And yes, I am aware that this is quite common. But it is ONE MORE thing, on top of all the other crap I am dealing with. Add this worry to all my worries about immigration, school, family, stuff at home, etc...

And did I mention I LOVE bread and all things carbs? I am already miserable. All I want this AM is some cereal... Nope, sorry... No can do... I can have an egg. Ever mention I really do NOT like eggs at all? I don't like the smell, the taste. the texture. Oh well.

I will go now, and fix an egg for breakfast, before I get too whiney...


Mary said...

Guess that piece of cake the day before didn't help a lot, huh?
Student discipline: you know how I feel...I know we've had talks about it. I'm feeling for you. We only have 3 more Mondays!

S. Dub said...

Yes, but then there are all the other days AFTER Monday to deal with too... UGH!